I’ve struggled with my weight my whole life and with that became a struggle with body dysmorphia. Even when I was fit, I didn’t see or feel it. As I’ve gotten older I’ve taken the time to go to therapy and learn how to better love myself, and I do, but something still feels a little off to me.
I went to school and started a career, but balancing all of that with my physical health and fitness has always been a priority. The fluctuation in my weight is mostly related to the issues of consistency and intensity. My weight fluctuates the most when I seem to lose momentum during my workouts and eventually motivation to workout consistently.
I’ve been in shape before and it bothers me that I’m not now. I don’t mean six-pack abs either. I just mean feeling comfortable taking my shirt off at the beach or finally being able to swim at the community pool where they don’t allow me to get in the water with my shirt on. I mean feeling good about my body, not just average and certainly not insecure.
I’ve spent a great deal of time trying to figure out the best workout for myself. I mean most of my life has been dedicated to finding the perfect routine or best way to keep my workouts consistent and intense, which I’ve always struggled with.
Personal trainers have been good to me over the years, I just haven’t been good to them. I usually end up ghosting them and never returning to the gym they work at. I lose motivation and then I find myself paying for something I don’t use and ultimately decide it’s not worth it at all.
It wasn’t until a friend of mine introduced me to trainwell that I thought it could be possible for me to finally have a personal trainer without getting overwhelmed and running into the same issue of ghosting!
The best thing about trainwell, besides the fact that it’s way cheaper than other personal trainers I’ve had, is the fact that it’s all remote. I don’t even have to leave my house if I don’t want to. But I can make my way to the gym if I’m feeling up for it.
I get personalized workouts from a trainer that actually cares about me and my progress. Oh, and everything is tracked through my Apple Watch. I barely have to do anything, except workout, of course. In the app and on video calls I let my trainer know how I’m feeling and where I would like to see improvement or change.
The next best thing about trainwell is its customizability. I’m in complete control of my workouts. I recently asked my trainer to give me higher intensity workouts for more dramatic results and she is delivering. The two weeks following my request, she doubled my usual numbers and I set new personal records right and left.
It felt great to see that progress so quickly, but I didn’t feel challenged yet. I knew I hadn’t been pushing myself as hard as I could have been with her before. What I saw in those two weeks was a result of me finally actually pushing myself to my limits.
After setting all those new records for myself I felt as though I had peaked and started to lose that motivation again. The following weeks were painful and difficult for me to get through. When I spoke to my trainer next, I let her know that I was feeling as though I had reached my limits. Maybe I wasn’t meant to be pushing myself quite so hard yet.
She reassured me that what I was feeling was completely normal and that we could take a step back if we needed it. I thoughts maybe, in the beginning, I hadn’t been pushing myself as hard as I could have been. So once we changed the routine my body was shocked and felt incapable of doing anything new she had added.
I was psyching myself out essentially, I had a habit of doing that. I can be overly critical of myself to the point of not being able to recognize progress or being able to perform. I decided at that moment that I wanted to break that cycle and told my trainer to keep up the intensity. If that’s what it was going to take to see the changes I wanted to see, then I was willing to put in the work for myself.
After nearly a year of plateaus, valleys, peaks, and back into valleys, I looked at myself and saw exactly what I wanted to be seeing. I wasn’t ripped or cut, I wouldn’t be entering any bodybuilding competitions anytime soon, but I looked good. Really good.
I felt amazing, too. Not just because I had achieved some particular look either. It was because I had finally overcome myself. I knew the whole time I was the only thing holding myself back and I finally learned the discipline necessary to make changes to and for myself.
I like to think that I would have eventually been able to do that on my own, without the help of a trainer, but I know it would have taken so much longer. I would have been battling with myself every step of the way. I’m so thankful my friend introduced me to trainwell last year so I could enjoy these changes while I’m still young.
The story of trainwell member Amber T
