It’s January and everyone’s going to the gym, planning a marathon, or swapping diet tips and starting juice cleanses. But as the weeks go on, the energy fades, and life goes back to normal.
We even know how it goes, yet if we’re part of the clan that sets a goal, we get that familiar sense of shame or guilt when it doesn’t work out. Maybe you recommit in the spring right before summertime hits, but even society’s “beach body” pressure isn’t enough to change your habits.
Why is it so hard to change and stick to your goals? Well, there are actually quite a few reasons (plus smarter options for what to do about it). Read on to learn how to make and achieve goals, long-term.
It’s not just the calendar starting fresh that makes us feel like it’s time for change on January 1st. Almost the entire Western world is full of energy and commitment to growth — and that energy is easy to catch. It also makes you feel like you’re not alone, which is half the battle.
Besides the worldwide frenzy of motivation, there’s also pressure. Whether that’s from social media, friends, or colleagues, you’re expected to “make your dream life happen” this year. You may really want to make changes, like improving your muscle mass since walking alone isn't enough to prevent heart disease. But if you don’t have strategies and support in place, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Then, you’re left feeling inadequate and ashamed, wondering how on earth you could possibly accomplish all your goals.
There is a science to habit change, but New Year’s resolutions don’t follow them. Here’s what sets a fitness goal up for failure:
While feeling unhappy with your body or strength level can push you to start doing something about it, it’s not necessarily going to keep you going long-term. When you’re driven by negative emotions or external goals (like weight loss to look good versus feeling more energized), it’s easier to fall into a cycle of self-punishment (followed by burnout).
Self-criticism is shown to seriously harm not just our mental health, but our physical health too. It can do anything from weaken our immune system, cause headaches and digestive issues, and convince us we don’t even deserve something better. For long-term success, think about goals rooted in self-care and empowerment. Caring about your health and how you truly feel works much better than trying to “fix” yourself.
Overall, the more you fuel your life from a place of self-compassion, the healthier you’ll be.
Deciding to “get fit” doesn’t mean you have to start going to the gym four days a week, cut off all your favorite foods, and start following a strict diet. In fact, the more you try to do too much too soon, the less likely you are to succeed.
Science shows habit change comes from either immediate drastic changes in our environment (like moving to a new country) OR, more commonly, by setting simple, tiny goals — ones so easy, they’re impossible not to do (and one at a time, too). We may be quite adaptable as a species, but that doesn’t mean change is easy for us, especially when it’s drastic.
So if you want to “get fit” think about the tiniest first step toward that goal. For example, maybe it’s rolling out the exercise mat every morning before breakfast to stretch, just to get used to the idea of moving more. Check out more simple tips on how to get started with heart-healthy exercise habits.
If you want to “work out more”, first ask yourself what that really means and why you want it. Otherwise, you may fall prey to the generic idea that “getting fit” means intense exercise 4-5 days a week, along with strict dieting. Then, you go all in only to burn out shortly after.
Besides needing a specific strategy like setting SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound), you need a big enough why. Otherwise, what’s the effort for? It has to be truly important to you in order to make it happen (and start slow enough to make it applicable). Read this article to find out how to develop a growth mindset that shapes SMART goals.
Your long-term goal isn’t the same as your daily goal. So if you want to build more muscle to feel strong, maybe you can start with something SMART, like two 20-minute strength training exercises this week (schedule the time, place, exact workout, progress app tracker, etc.). Get as specific as possible and break your end goal into daily chunks that work.
If it’s not enjoyable enough, it won’t last. This doesn’t just apply to strict diets, but boring workout plans, too (and pretty much everything else). Just think of a diet that leaves you feeling hungry, deprived, and unsatisfied — how long have those lasted in the past?
Goals that don’t align with your interests are doomed to fail. So if you hate going to the gym, don’t force yourself to go. Experiment with movement until you find something you enjoy. For many, that’s working out at home, in group classes, or nature. Feel free to blend with anything and everything, like dance, yoga, or even a local hiking group.
Sometimes we end up liking something only once we start to see progress in that area too. So don’t dismiss something as “Oh I hate working out at the gym” or “Oh I hate yoga” immediately. It could be that you just don’t feel good at it. But if you go a couple of times, you may find yourself making progress and get addicted to the “gains”. Plus, don’t underestimate the power of trying a new place — it might just be that the gym or class you tried doesn’t fit your vibe. There are millions of gyms and studios dedicated to movement that suit different people. In the end, you can try a hundred different yoga studios and get a hundred different options.
You might get tired and miss a few weeks of workouts or turn to comfort foods and gain a few pounds, but that doesn’t mean you’re a “failure”. In fact, these setbacks are guaranteed.
Society has made us believe that success is linear and that we cross some imaginary finish line and finally get “there”. Except, as long as you’re alive, no end line ever comes. Our lives are in constant flux, so even when it looks like we’re moving farther away from our goals, it can instead be a temporary moment of much-needed rest or realignment.
The problem is that we assume setbacks are a sign of failure and that we don’t have it takes, which couldn’t be farther from the truth. Just like our bodies and lives fluctuate, so too must our attitude.
If life hits hard, it’s time to take a step back and reassess what’s truly important in this moment. Working out doesn’t always have to follow a strict plan, especially when we need all the energy we have to manage difficult times. We often forget how likely it is that life will throw a curve ball and that part of living a balanced life is being okay when things fall out of balance.
But if it seems like daily life is constantly getting in the way of movement, it’s a sign to reassess what’s really practical. Maybe for now, 10 minutes every day or a walk in the park is enough, or doing 10 air squats every time you walk through a particular hallway in your house.
It’s not just an urban myth, support and accountability make you much more likely to achieve your goals. For example, many studies show how working out with a friend or romantic partner can make exercise more enjoyable (and increase relationship satisfaction when exercising together). However, the really big difference comes when working out with a personal trainer. They can help improve performance, consistency, and perceptions around exercise for the long term.
Then there’s tracking, which science shows over and over again that is key for success. Plus, when you share your progress with someone or publicly, you’re even more likely to stick with it. Overall, monitoring is key for self-regulation and habit development.
Here are six points to keep in mind whenever you’re thinking about habit change:
With self-compassion, smart goals, and accountability long-term habit change is possible. It’s not easy to do on your own, which is why trainwell’s trainers use a forgiving and steady approach that’s not just practical, but fun. We create momentum by tailoring workouts that light you up and set you up for success. Whether you’re just starting or feeling exhausted from yo-yo fitness streaks, we’re here to support you and make change that lasts. Try a free 14-day trial to see the difference our trainers can make for yourself.
Written by Jennifer Olejarz.
